Can the absence of good parents lead to Atheism?

I discovered something interesting while watching this video clip. I think part of the reason that I’m an atheist is because I didn’t have good parents. I was just watching a clip with George Lucas regarding mythology and Joseph Campbell and following your bliss and Lucas said, “The only thing you have to do in the end…accomplish only one thing in life is to make your parents proud. If you’re healthy and you can take of yourself and you are a good person and you contribute to society and not take away…that’s all your parents want in the end.”

I can’t remember a time or even a thought where this was important to me at all. I didn’t want to make my mother proud…I wanted to do things as different from her as possible.  Making her proud did not even enter my life…and making my Dad proud was even less of a priority because he wasn’t around. I remember sometimes wanting to make my mother proud but it seemed to fall flat most of the time. It never seemed enough…and she saw my attempts at pleasing her with contempt.

God is like a father figure isn’t he? Which explains why I have such a low concept of him…he didn’t do much for me when I needed him. He was weak. Useless. Make him proud? Didn’t even enter my mind. When I left home…I did it on my own. I realized that I was going to die in misery if I stayed with my Mom so I left. I  FIXED the problem.

Who helped me? People. My aunt, Dove…the people who hired me at Ross and the lawyer’s office where I used to work…even my French teacher who complimented me on my pronunciation…it was never my mother or father or strong authority figure like God.

Herein lies a contradiction…why search for a father figure when I believe them to be weak? Perhaps because the idealized version of what a father should be overrides my logic. The need to belong is stronger than the disappointment that may arise when the fantasy is destroyed.

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