I’ve neglected my blog

So very sorry to my loyal fan Oscar! I’m back today although not in full force.

Unemployment sucks when your job gets blown up.

The countdown has begun again. This time without the spotlight that facebook provides. 8 days to freedom starts tomorrow. I’m scared shitless. Below are random thoughts running through my head at all hours of the day and night.

Get A Job

I should just get a job. I need to work!! I can’t live off of unemployment! I have bills! My parents live in Las Vegas! I can’t move back in with them…what the hell was  I thinking!

Doubt Has Poked It’s Ugly Head Into My Plans

Can I really make it as a writer. I just read an article the other day written by a well known playwright and he talked about playwriting and the stage being a dying art and how it doesn’t pay the bills. Hollywood, he said, is where the money is. Screenplays, movies, film, TV!! I’m not thinking about writing screenplays….I want to get my feet wet on the stage first!! I want to tell stories for the stage!! I have something to say to a smaller audience goddammit!!

I’m A Leo. I’ve Got TONS of Pride

My friends have been supportive…they kind of believe in me. Poor dumb bastards. They keep telling me they’ll put me up if I lose my apartment. Really? Will you put up an unemployed and cash strapped playwright? For how long? A few months, a year and then what do I do? I told them I’d rather go live in a homeless shelter than ask for a place to live. I’ve always taken care of myself. Always. It’s going to be hard to ask for help. It’s going to be hard to let go of my pride. My pride will go grudgingly. It will not be pretty. I’m a Leo. We are the kings of the jungle…we have TONS of pride. It’s horrible, but it’s there nonetheless. My friends are going to hate me.

What Are You Going To Do for Money?

Unemployment bitches! Why do you keep asking? Should I be asking? Why am I not asking?

How Many Plays Do You Have Under Your Belt?

Three. One of them is ten minutes long…does that count? Oh and I write bad poetry. I’m not lying. Ask Jesus. He’ll tell you the truth. One play is not finished and the other is ten monologues full of exposition. I think I need to start looking for a job.

Where Are You Going To Go To School

Community college. What? Is that bad? Should I say Stanford or Brown? Or NYU? Would that make you feel better about me collecting unemployment. Would it cement my dream in concreteness? Is that even a word?

Believe In Yourself. Believe In Yourself.

This one is hard. I do believe in myself. I know that I can do it…maybe.  I’m in the best possible place in life to make a go of writing and make it happen.  But you don’t really know how much you are capable of until you actually do it. So I have to take a risk. I have to make the jump without looking over the edge of the cliff and noticing how far it is  to safety.

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