Heterographs & Homophones

I obsesses about the smallest things.

Spelling is one of them. I hate misspelling words. But sometimes my ESL (English as Second Language) education comes through even when I try my hardest to hide it.

I made a spelling mistake in my play. I couldn’t sleep last night because I kept thinking about it.

I wrote SOWING instead of SEWING. I kept thinking about it all night.

I woke up this morning and Googled.

According to Wikipedia, my mistake was confusing a heterograph, also called a homophone pair. Two words that sound the same but are spelled differently.

Okay. Knowing this helped ease my obsession. But it didn’t go away because it wasn’t the mistake per se that made me obsesses.

It’s the way it was pointed out by a friend. It bothered me. This is what had me tossing and turning all night.

I’m trying really hard to write. To make this happen for me. And this person, for whatever reason, always seems to find the perfect things to say that irk me. Makes me feel patronized, like he’s laughing at me. Or like he is the person in charge of the  “Don’t-Let-This-Small-Success-Go-To-Fanny’s- Head”  job. In our conversation, this person makes sure to say, “I didn’t think your play was finished.” In a very, “You’re-Far-From-Being-The-Writer-You-Should-Be” tone.

No, the play is far from finished.  I don’t know when it will be. I know that I’ve been talking about it and writing it for years. I could write down a hundred reasons explaining the delay but I won’t because that is the past and I hate making excuses. Today, in my present life, I am showing up to my desk and writing.

I’m just doing it.

I want to tell this friend something. I want to tell him, that if he knew my full story. If he  even bothered to ask about it, he would know that trying and showing up is a huge accomplishment for me.  It is my own little victory. And I’m going to savor it.